Rediscovering Hobbies

Honestly, no one tells you that sobriety can feel boring before it feels meaningful. As Elton John said, "Sobriety brought me everything that drugs and alcohol promised".

Things I used to find pointless were sitting in front of the telly for hours after night shift, drowning myself in alcohol, doing nothing but switching my brain off. Loosing myself! At the time this all felt completely ‘normal’. 

Now, I find myself reading a lot more important books that help me academically and push me forward. I've also started reading the Bible more often, not perfectly or on a schedule, but intentionally. It's become something grounding, something I return to when I need perspective.

I'm not perfect, but I've stopped procrastinating the way I used to. I try to get things done head-on, even when I feel overwhelmed at times. When that happens, I stop and breathe. This part of sobriety, (learning how to sit with overwhelm instead of escaping it), is something I'm still figuring out about myself. 

I've stopped believing that failing something or not finishing the graft means everything's ruined. I'm learning that I can pick things back up the day after. That doesn't make me weak, it makes me human.

My mind feels clearer now. Almost too clear at times. I feel everything, emotions, thoughts, the whole lot, and while that can be intense, it also feels real in a way I wasn't living before.

Some days I still feel overwhelmed, yes. But I'd rather feel everything than feel nothing at all. Rediscovering hobbies isn't really about books or routines. To me, it's about learning how to be present in my own life.